So for the past few weeks I’ve been knocked out and flattened by my latest wave of anxiety.
It’s crippling to be honest. When I’m not in a bad wave I make all these grand plans.
And then a bad day strikes. Then it spreads into days and sometimes weeks.
My grand plans are still in place, because the world is still spinning, but my ability to do them vanishes.
Just the slightest negative comment, or even an item on the news, can send my heart and head into turmoil.
My palms start sweating, I feel I can’t breathe… I’m having a panic attack.
Because anxiety is such a * bleep,* that it doesn’t just stay in your head.
It seeps throughout your whole body telling you you’re incapable of doing your day-to-day tasks.
Just getting through life’s basics can feel impossible.
It’s a bitch and it strikes whenever it feels like ruining your week or at the moment month.
I’m trying to “ride the wave” as they say.
But at the moment that feels like optimistic shrink babble. And rather than ride the wave, I feel like waves are crashing down around me, drowning me.
Everyone’s “anxious” or “depressed” these days.
I wish it was just an ‘in’ club and we could all just laugh off our anxieties and watch a chick-flick to get over our depression.
But real anxiety, is darn lonely.
Proper depression, is seriously isolating.
It’s no competition but both conditions are serious.
You’re stuck inside some warped snow globe, trying not to suffocate, whilst trying to pretend you’re coping, as the outside world whizzes around you.
Anxiety is just horrid. Fact.
But there is hope, because it does pass. You (I) have just got to be patient.