My underwear: Eating disorders aren’t glamorous

Just found my “Anorexic” underwear. I kept these as a reminder of how bad I got.

ed underwear

I look at these knickers and the tiny bra (on the left) – and they look like they would fit my 4-year-old daughter, not an adult woman (like my current undies on the right).

But these (on the left) were indeed my undies when I’d starved, purged and bullied myself to the point of nearly killing myself.

Eating Disorders are often seen as glamorous or just a fad diet. But whilst I must try not feel envy over my former skeletal self, I look at this underwear and I can see that what I thought was a fat body – was in fact the depleted capsule of a human who had sold her soul to anorexia and bulimia. My eating disorder was all that mattered to me then, but not now. Now, it’s my enemy. A horrid insidious disease that I pray my daughters won’t catch.

337

Maybe I’ll never completely recover. But a big difference now (is not my size as when I was at my worst I was actually the largest size I have ever been) is that, I choose life. I have two beautiful babies and a fiance – and whilst I struggle to look at photos of myself from my most difficult years, I’m now safe in the knowledge that I have gained a life.canon dec 2015v pix 092

Eating Disorders are not to do with weight or even the size of my underwear (they’re far more complex), but I must remind myself that I had no life when my eating disorder took over everything.

Please join me in choosing life and let’s not get caught up on our so-called imperfections because like me, you’ll look back at yourself and think why didn’t I just live life rather than obsess? #ednotglam #chooselife

ed underwear 2

Life Loving Linkie

Post Comment Love

10 thoughts on “My underwear: Eating disorders aren’t glamorous

      1. Jestem prknaoezny, ze takie Towarzystwo to już pewnie dawno istnieje. A jak nie to niech naukowcy siÄ™ bawiÄ… bo ja jestem amator rozdarty miÄ™dzy WartÄ… a Liffey 😉 z silnym wskazaniem na odbicie wieżowca heinekena w rzecznej wodzie 😀

        Like

  1. Hear hear! I think you’ve got it spot on. Choose life, no matter what you are dealing with, is it worth sitting back and passing life by for? You should be proud of yourself and I wish you a continued great recovery.

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #LifeLovingLinkie

    Like

  2. Choosing life is a great response – I agree that eating disorders often aren’t about weight and showing your underwear in this way is a great way to demonstrate what an eating disorder can do. Wishing you all the very best in your journey and thank you for linking up to #PoCoLo

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s